Positive Thinking & Self Talk

We have a constant running commentary going on in our heads. Concentrate on it to figure out if it’s negative self talk or positive self talk. It’s easy once you notice your self talk to change its course. Whatever you are successful in is where the positive is in your life.

I am working hard on changing the course each time negative thoughts pop in my head. I want to avoid the negative to maintain my health, it was extremely hard work and expensive to get healthy and I want to stay this way. We need to be kind to ourselves.  When I realized that this was going on all the time I saw how I was hard on myself and knew I needed to change.

Sometimes we sit in negativity, how can we not when bad things happen to us. Sitting in the negative is what makes us sick and unbalanced. We dwell, we get stuck, we overthink and we stay in that unhealthy space too long.

It can be an exhaustive cycle that is hard to stop but so easy to spiral out of control. IE: I look ugly.  I’ve gained weight. I should have tried harder.  I’m such a loser or failure. I’ll never get it right. Why did I say that or why did I let him/her treat me like that?

Over time changing the self talk monologue has been a learning experience. Figuring out where in my life I was really down on myself was key. Correcting the negative wording to positive thoughts was a process to learn to  catch each time.

I have trained myself to stop as soon as it starts and change what I’m doing or make a plan so that I can change what it is that I’m down on myself about.  Instead of the negative self talk continuing I’m going to do something about it!

Sometimes it’s a reaction to someone’s actions or words and it can be paralyzing especially when the continuous loop from the time our eyes open until we fall asleep is mental flogging.

Sometimes when things are upsetting or throw me off, in that it’s an uncomfortable situation, those times stay with me and I hold on to them until I’m warm down, even though I don’t need to.  Ridiculous, when I think about it that way!

In general when life hands me negative situations I tend to reason it out immediately. They/he/she are having a bad day. I wonder what that person is going through to make them act or react like that. When I use this strategy it allows me to release that negative energy they put in my life so that it doesn’t bring me down.

I use to have a VERY different outlook on this, a negative outlook that was blame, anger and making sure that person was put in their place!  I have a huge piece of me that doesn’t allow others to be disrespectful towards me or others that are close to me, once they do, I’m not one to forgive.

Then I realized with that kind of attitude I was wasting my time on people that ultimately didn’t warrant my energy. I was using my energy on non issues instead of something positive.

Changing my perspective has truly brought me to a peaceful state of mind. It was a lot of work at the beginning to learn to redirect my thoughts but has slowly become much easier to stay in the positive as time goes by.

Resources:

Pyschology Today

Forbes

Elite Daily

It’s an ongoing process to change the negative into positive but it can be done! Here’s to being kind to ourselves. Cheers, Andrea xo

Finding balance through the Whole30

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I was listening to Melissa Hartwig on a live IG story (personal or Whole30) and one of the questions she was answering was how do I stay on the Whole30 when stress enters my life?

And in that moment I had an aha! moment. It’s BALANCE! This is definitely something I need to hear. I find the hardest thing in my life is to keep my balance.

I listened to the answer and it seemed so obvious yet I have been struggling with this since I was 18 when I left home for college.  Living at home upnjntil then with my parents there was always healthy food, meals that were planned and prepared every night.  That kept me aligned.

I lose balance so easily, it could be as simple as a few missed hours of sleep the night before or anything new like a move or job and when stress enters my life. Any of these occur and I fall apart and everything goes to shit!

I finally figured it out. It’s as simple as food! The Whole30 program is not a diet.  It is learning how to meal plan, shop, cook and eat for your body. It’s also more than that, it’s a community, feeling positive about food freedom and figuring out how food fits into your life.

Taking this information in as Melissa was saying something like; even when stress enters your life keep food as a routine. Then I won’t lose balance. THAT’S IT!  I literally wanted to yell from the rooftops that I figured it out, point to my cell phone and say look….This is me! This is it! Right here!

The Whole30 has taught me a lot about food, myself and how food fits into my life. It’s been a process and I think everyone should know it’s within you to learn and figure out. It takes the amount of time it takes. There is no time limit or certain mile stones or markers.

The battle with food is personal and individual. AND it goes much deeper than food.  It reaches the inner most depths of the mind, of the soul.  It’s a learning experience of the past and sets you free!

For me it’s cravings when I start to become unbalanced. My unhealthy food relationship is controlling my food intake when the number in the scales says 5 pound gained.  The instant I notice this happening I stop eating properly and that spins me into a horrible cycle of little amounts of nutritional foods and small quantities. I’ve narrowed it down to being entirely stress related.

When I lose balance everything falls to pieces and then once that shift happens everything slides out of control. Once I let my food routine go out the window it affects every part of my life. My sleep, my health, my brain and gut function. All I want is balance but I dislike routine so that’s why I’ve struggled with this for so long. By not sticking to the routine of meal plans, shopping, eating and cooking I ultimately sabotage my health.

Its the worst feeling to go from cooking and eating healthy, feeling well and in balance, to my body shutting down and spiraling out of control.  When this happens I would feel terrible but didn’t know why. I would be craving chips and chocolate and eating little else. No wonder I just kept going down hill. And when I didn’t see it or realize what the answer was I wouldn’t know how to stop it from happening.

Keeping the meal plan simple and whole30 I feel my best and I don’t lose balance. This is seriously THE best aha moment I’ve had and I’m so glad I found the answer to the biggest issue in my life. Knowing how to keep my balance on a consistent basis is a tremendous relief. Now the work begins to keep this aligned until it becomes a habit!

Everything Whole30

I lose balance in the fall/winter transition but I like to do an overhaul in the winter/spring transition too.  (I also do a cleanse in March) I am planning on doing a WHOLE30 starting April 1st.  If you are interested in joining me follow my One Gutsy Lady Facebook page for support, advise and to have fun with the program.

Here are the links for the Whole30 program.

What is the Whole30?

Whole30 Program Rules

Have you tried or completed a Whole30? What was the outcome? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments.

Let’s do the Whole30 together! It’s free! Join me on Facebook  @onegutsylady

~Andrea

Never Defined

I’ve never played the victim to my illnesses. My daughter said to me a couple of years ago `You are not defined by anyone or anything. “ I had two thoughts; one I had never thought about it before and wow that is a major statement coming from a 20 year old. Playing the victim to an illness is not helping your situation, in fact it is making it worse. Having that mentality is detrimental to your health. When I first started on social media about this last Crohns flare it was for one reason only, to let others know they are not the only one, that others are struggling and going through the grieving and healing process too.

As I posted and my followers grew I followed them too. But then I realized that almost everyone of them who was dealing with autoimmune disorders were sucky, poor me, look what happened to me now. This victim mindset was prevalent on more accounts than not. It was toxic. It disgusted me. I unfollowed every single one of them because it brought me down, it made me think this isn’t how this should go, why would you let others see you being weak and pathetic. I’m not like that I can’t watch this happen. I’m strong, I’m a fighter, I don’t back down. Never have!

So, for all you who have an autoimmune disease(s) I am a fact based person, here you will find my journey to figure out how to get from almost dying to healthy and beyond. And most importantly, to never ever let that happen again!

I think it is important for people to know the facts, to hear what happens to others so that we can learn and so that maybe I can help someone avoid what I’ve gone through. At 17 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in Toronto, Ontario by a specialist. At that time I was told to go on disability. I refused. I’m a fighter I’m not going to be labeled at such a young age. I am not giving in to disease, I’m not a quitter and I most definitely did not want people looking down at me. Wasn’t gonna happen! I’m still not on disability even as my diseases multiple but you know what I can see that I will have to at some point and there is nothing wrong with that. But at that young age all I could see was people would take over my life, that they would have control over me. And I’m glad I didn’t at that time.

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We don’t have to be victims to our circumstances, to illness, to diseases. Speaking our truth is different, it’s telling the facts, educating and advocating. Advocacy for ourselves, for others, for disease, for healing and for strength. So, please don’t mistake the content in my posts as playing the victim or wanting sympathy or attention. If you knew me you would know that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Thoughts become words which become actions. Being a victim is hard for me to understand so I had to do a little research.

Victim: One who is harmed by or made to suffer under a circumstance or condition. Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize themselves as a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances. Victim mentality depends on clear thought processes and attribution.

I think the worst part of playing the victim is not making changes to your life.  I have talked to many and they refuse to make changes.  If you have illness, your lifestyle is not working for you. You have to change your thinking, your lifestyle and your surroundings. We all struggle, there are far worse situations to be in that others are dealing with right now. Be a fighter, win back your life, DO THE WORK! You will get there. Don’t give up.

Tell your story! But for the right reasons. To educate, inform, advocate and to heal!

Light Love & Peace ~Andrea xo

2018 The Year of Selflove

New year, new healthy ways! Taking a step back to examine what is not working in our lives is necessary to be able to move forward into an authentic life.  Take time to find the block, where is it that the flow has stopped or how the flow is not how it use to be. From there we see the past, going through the steps we took and what happened when the change took place. What was it that occurred? Was it a mistake, a failure, trauma, a time when we were off or weak? [In these words I use loosely as I don’t believe in failure or weakness or even mistakes. I see everything that happens in our journey as a milestone, a learning experience, a process that was necessary in our evolution. But in this context I use these words to express my point.]
The hurdles in our path make us put up barricades to protect our emotions and allow us to carry on. Once this happens again and again we form blocks that are so deep that it’s hard to get unstuck. We can become numb or use to acting a certain way to hide the pain and hurt that we are fake which forces us to atomically go through our days like a robot. Running from the pain, not dealing with it just pushing it down further and further, so the block is changing the course of our lives. We can get so far off our path until we get to the breaking point, that rock bottom, either addiction or illness.

Being in these blocks is like drowning, we are pulled under then for a split second are above water able to gasp for air only to be pulled under again. In this pattern of ebb and flow our bodies become imbalanced which leads to a down hill spiral of negative events.

When we release all that takes us to that place of rock bottom we transition into a new person, we become that of which we were always suppose to be. That detour was the doing of psychology, the way in which the human brain works. The brains way of dealing with emotions, not wanting to be hurt or damaged and to suppress pain and the hurt that is taken on by the reactions of the individual.  Assessing myself has been something I’ve done since I was a very young child, being sick all the time. When disease sets in the assessment of our bodies is always happening but I have taken a new approach as I am assessing all the time anyway I take note of my mind and soul as well. Does my soul feel nourished? Does my mind feel balanced?

Selfcare, selflove and keeping balanced are key words in my life now. Those words have become an everyday monitoring system to make sure I am happy and peaceful.  When issues arise I step back and ask: What is this trying to tell me? I think this is so important to assess the situation and yourself in these moments.

I am use to giving everything I have and not receiving anything in return. I catch myself doing this every so often now an when that happens I pull it right back in, as fast as it went out. Everyone is for themselves which I have never been, but I am now! When something arises in my life now I ask: What is this trying to tell me? I take a step back and do it all over again. Being still in the moment helps a great deal to get perspective. This is so for myself.

Happy new year & be well my friends.

Andrea

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