We have a constant running commentary going on in our heads. Concentrate on it to figure out if it’s negative self talk or positive self talk. It’s easy once you notice your self talk to change its course. Whatever you are successful in is where the positive is in your life.
I am working hard on changing the course each time negative thoughts pop in my head. I want to avoid the negative to maintain my health, it was extremely hard work and expensive to get healthy and I want to stay this way. We need to be kind to ourselves. When I realized that this was going on all the time I saw how I was hard on myself and knew I needed to change.
Sometimes we sit in negativity, how can we not when bad things happen to us. Sitting in the negative is what makes us sick and unbalanced. We dwell, we get stuck, we overthink and we stay in that unhealthy space too long.
It can be an exhaustive cycle that is hard to stop but so easy to spiral out of control. IE: I look ugly. I’ve gained weight. I should have tried harder. I’m such a loser or failure. I’ll never get it right. Why did I say that or why did I let him/her treat me like that?
Over time changing the self talk monologue has been a learning experience. Figuring out where in my life I was really down on myself was key. Correcting the negative wording to positive thoughts was a process to learn to catch each time.
I have trained myself to stop as soon as it starts and change what I’m doing or make a plan so that I can change what it is that I’m down on myself about. Instead of the negative self talk continuing I’m going to do something about it!
Sometimes it’s a reaction to someone’s actions or words and it can be paralyzing especially when the continuous loop from the time our eyes open until we fall asleep is mental flogging.
Sometimes when things are upsetting or throw me off, in that it’s an uncomfortable situation, those times stay with me and I hold on to them until I’m warm down, even though I don’t need to. Ridiculous, when I think about it that way!
In general when life hands me negative situations I tend to reason it out immediately. They/he/she are having a bad day. I wonder what that person is going through to make them act or react like that. When I use this strategy it allows me to release that negative energy they put in my life so that it doesn’t bring me down.
I use to have a VERY different outlook on this, a negative outlook that was blame, anger and making sure that person was put in their place! I have a huge piece of me that doesn’t allow others to be disrespectful towards me or others that are close to me, once they do, I’m not one to forgive.
Then I realized with that kind of attitude I was wasting my time on people that ultimately didn’t warrant my energy. I was using my energy on non issues instead of something positive.
Changing my perspective has truly brought me to a peaceful state of mind. It was a lot of work at the beginning to learn to redirect my thoughts but has slowly become much easier to stay in the positive as time goes by.
It’s an ongoing process to change the negative into positive but it can be done! Here’s to being kind to ourselves. Cheers, Andrea xo